How to be a Better Partner

How to be a Better Partner

by M. Karshna

This is a “how-to” that many different people, from many different backgrounds, from many different times have given their opinion on and about. Maybe it is a social scientist or relationship coach who have taken all of the classes and have all of the statistics on the matter, or perhaps it is your in-laws who have a disastrous marriage but for some reason think they are most qualified to tell you how to act in your relationship. Whatever the case may be, it is important to state off the top that there is no one right way to be a better partner and it is a long journey; what do I mean by that? We are all infinitely complex individuals that have many unique characteristics, but we are also a part of a human species that certainly is lead by algorithms, trends, and statistics, making us not so different from each other at all. When you mix these two things together, we realize that it is hard to give a perfect answer for this question of “how to be a better partner?” So with this being said, we will look at three very wise pieces of advice that Jesus shared over the course of His life that made His disciples better people in general, and apply those to our relationships; if we put these three things in practice, things have no choice but to get better and to start us on a wonderful path of self-reflection, character development, and discovery.


Lets Pray

Dear God, give us humble hearts today. Relationships can be hard, and sometimes, we may feel like we aren’t doing anything wrong if our partner is upset with us; we may be confused why they are acting a certain way or why we just can’t seem to do things right. Give us the humility and dedication we need to commit to doing all we can to be patient, open, and unconditionally loving. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.

How to be a Better Partner


In Jesus’s famous Sermon on the Mount, He lists certain characteristics that make a person “blessed.” These “blessed” characteristics are what He says make people righteous in the eyes of God, and when we apply them to our relationships with our partners, can do the same.

1. The Poor in Spirit

2. The Gentle

3. The Makers and Maintainers of Peace

1. The Poor in Spirit: The poor in spirit? That sounds like it would not be a good thing! Let’s look a little closer. In Matthew 5:3, Jesus says, “Blessed [spiritually prosperous, happy, to be admired] are the poor in spirit [those devoid of spiritual arrogance, those who regard themselves as insignificant], for theirs is the kingdom of heaven [both now and forever]” (AMP). Being poor in spirit means that you truly humble in how you view yourself. By being poor in spirit, you choose to set the needs of others over yourself and not to act like a pompous, religious fool when it comes to spiritual things as well as any other knowledge. By being poor in spirit, you choose to be humble, thoughtful, and an active listener to make sure those around you are prospering in a myriad of ways. Be this kind of person with your partner and you will start to see change in your relationship; like Jesus said: to these is the kingdom of heaven.


2. The Gentle: In Matthew 5:5, Jesus says, “Blessed [inwardly peaceful, spiritually secure, worthy of respect] are the gentle [the kind-hearted, the sweet-spirited, the self-controlled], for they will inherit the earth” (AMP). You may be surprised how not gentle we actually are as people; we’d like to think we are, but the constant and careful practice of being a gentle person is a hard task that is not for the weak of heart. It is important that we take this seriously and conduct ourselves in a way that makes us known as people who are gentle. It is all the more important that we demonstrate true gentleness to our partners in every situation. Wondering where the “honeymoon period” went? It never left; try practicing gentleness and you will see what I mean! Remember, these people who practice gentleness will inherit the earth.


3. The Makers and Maintainers of Peace: In Matthew 5:9, Jesus says, “Blessed [spiritually calm with life-joy in God’s favor] are the makers and maintainers of peace, for they will [express His character and] be called the sons of God” (AMP). Let’s face it, neither you or your partner are always right about something or a situation; you might think you are, but there is typically fault on both sides when things aren’t going right. Whether it is 50/50 or 90/10, we are called by Jesus to be makers and maintainers of peace. This does not mean you just let people push you around or settle. Quite the contrary! What this means is you go out of your way to make sure that things are settled in a calm, reasonable, and honorable way. This is hard to do, especially in a relationship, but totally worth it. These people will be called sons of God.

Being poor in spirit (those devoid of spiritual arrogance, those who regard themselves as insignificant), gentle (the kind-hearted, the sweet-spirited, the self-controlled), and peacemakers as well as peace maintainers is a lot! But this is the sacred, holy calling that came from Jesus Himself for how we can have the kingdom of heaven, inherit the earth, and be called sons of God; this is what happens when we practice these things. How much more then when we practice them towards our partner in our relationship? We are called to practice these things even more so with our partners than anyone else. Being a better partner, as we can see, is a process and a journey that is not solved by a seminar or a quote—it is a process of self-discovery, self-reflection, and character development, that if we commit to, will certainly work out, and these messages from Jesus are a great place to start in being a better partner.


Lets Pray

Dear God, it is hard to be humble, kind-hearted, and peaceful in relationships sometimes, but let me never lose track of the calling from Jesus to practice these things like He did; it can be hard, but I know it is worth it so that I can have a beautiful and fruitful relationship with my partner. Thank you for inspiring wisdom and good character. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.


Matthew Karshna is a contributor for A Warrior’s Mission and a partner with the ACCBF. Matthew graduated from the University of Georgia in 2023 with a Bachelor’s Degree in English and resides in North Carolina, where he is also a Community Engagement Director for a local martial arts school. “I am proud to produce content for an organization that is focused on the welfare of others!” ~Matthew

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